Celebrating without you
Today is my mums birthday
My mum would have been 65 today. It's hard that she's not here, but equally I know I am lucky to have shared 32 birthdays with her, and to have as many memories as I do...
When it's my Dad's birthday, I take flowers to the crematorium for him. We scattered my Mum's ashes over 220 miles away though. Instead of taking flowers there, I was planning on buying some for myself instead - My Mum used to moan about me wasting money taking flowers to the Crem for my Dad.
Yesterday, hubby took Syd to the allotment and she brought me back half a dozen daffodils. I am taking that as a sign I don't need to go out especially for flowers today - My mum loved flowers picked by the kids / grandkids.
Sam's got chicken pox, so I'm expecting it to be another day at home for us. I might bake some Jam Tarts with Syd later - something I used to love doing with my Mum on Sundays when I was a child.
March is set to be a tough month - Mum's birthday today, my Mum and Dad's wedding anniversary, Mother's Day and the anniversary of my Mum's passing. I seem to manage the expected tough days better than the unexpected triggers though. The Moonpig reminder it was My Mum's birthday upset me more than perhaps it should have done. I have turned off the alerts, but I know from experience that I need to be kind to myself this month. After 10 birthdays without my Dad, 10 Father's days and 10 anniversaries, I know it'll be tough, but that keeping busy will make it easier to manage. Remembering the good times will help, too.
So... Happy Birthday Mum. I hope you're celebrating, wherever you are xxxx