“Batman’s Birth story” – make yourself comfortable – you may be here a while!!

I woke at 5am ish on 3rd June and had some tightenings – nothing new, I’d had Braxton hicks for months.
I got up to go to the toilet & got some period like cramping too.
I went down & sat on my gym ball & posted online that things might be happening.
By 7am the tightenings were every 8-10 minutes, lasting 30 seconds.

I woke hubby up to tell him things might be starting & I was having a bath.
Poor hubby went into a state of panic & decided he needed to go shopping immediately to buy his dads fathers day present LOL!
The bath & 2 paracetomol seemed to ease everything so I assumed it was another false alarm.

I rang the hospital & they said it sounded like early labour but it could be days yet & to wait until the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart lasting 60+ seconds.
By 3pm the pains had stopped so I decided to do the ironing (as you do)!
By 7pm, the pains were back & every 6 minutes, lasting 40 seconds.

I rang my cousin who told me to stay at home as long as possible as they would only send me home again if I was under 4cm dilated.
Me & hubby had said weeks before we both expected me to be in agony due to my bad back & hips, so the fact I was coping without pain relief made us think it was very early days.

I put on my tens machine as I’d heard the sooner it was on the better it worked – it did nothing to ease the discomfort I was in, so after an hour I took it off. (It felt just like period pains so I was coping well anyway, just controlled breathing through the contractions).

By 10pm, the contractions were every 3.5 mins lasting 60 seconds so I rang the hospital.
I was told there were no midwives so to ring back in an hour(!) or wait longer if I could.
I went to the toilet at this point & had a bloody show.

With every contraction after this, I wanted to poo but couldn’t.
By 11pm, the pain and urge to poo was getting stronger with each contraction so I rang the hospital to tell them I was going in.

We got in the (brand spanking new) car at 11.15 & arrived on the maternity ward at 11.35 & hubby started pumping up my gym ball.

At 11.45pm, the midwife tried to listen to the baby’s heart beat but couldn’t find it. She put me on the trace & found it.
The Midwife then took my Blood Pressure (it was off the scale).
She thought the BP machine was broke so went to get a manual one.

As soon as she left the room, I felt an almighty pop, followed by a huge gush as my waters broke! I was still dressed and gutted I was soaked through! I told hubby what had happened & he too looked horrified & asked if he should get the midwife. I screamed “no, leave her,” to which he asked what he should do & I said, “Get the Midwife”!

As they came back in, I got another contraction & the urge to poo was bigger than ever.

The Midwife was being all slow & dilly dallying about so I said I was sorry but I had to go to the toilet. She asked what for & I told her to poo!
She then insisted she examine me first & whipped off my soaking wet pants & knickers!

Her face went from all chilled out to looking horrified as she said, “your cervix has gone”.

My reply: “What the hell does that mean”?

And she said “It’s time to push, not poo”!

I was given the gas & air & told I had to do it with just that as it was too late.

I was up on all 4's for 3 contractions (with the gas and air), but when I saw my cat walk across the room, I decided perhaps that was a bad idea so I gave up on the drugs.

After 3 contractions, the midwife realised she didn’t have a Birthing kit & made hubby press the emergency button, to which the domestic assistant responded (bloody NHS)!

Once she brought the kit, the midwife said it was up to me how long it would take – baby could be out in 3 pushes or 203, depending how much effort I put in. She got me to lie on my side at this point so she could see better.

1 contraction later, I felt an almighty pain in my arse (midwife had shoved her fingers up there to stop me tearing – a bit of warning might have been nice)!

I swear that hurt more than labour did!!

I began crying saying it hurt too much & I couldn’t do it, to which she snapped, “I can see baby’s head, you’re doing it, isn’t she dad”!

Hubby looked down & nodded, saying, “He has hair, lots of hair”!

My response: “What Colour”?
(I had it in my head Sam was going to be a redhead despite me & Daddy being brunettes)!!

One push later & the head was out.
I didn’t feel this as I was too busy crying in pain over the fingers still shoved up my arse!

Hubby  looked absolutely terrified at this point!
One more push & there was a gush, followed by a huge sloppy bundle being dropped onto my chest!

It took me a minute to realise said sloppy bundle was actually Batman!!

Hubby then cried!

It is worth noting I had promised that Hubby would tweet labour progress on twitter & he posted these tweets… "We are fully dilated"…. "Pushing"….. "So far, this has been moving at an incredible pace"…… "I’m a Dad!!" My poor followers had been expecting a long graphic account, instead they got 4 updates in less than an hour!

Once the placenta was delivered (which I was NOT expecting to be so big), the Midwife weighed Batman & told us he was 8lb 15.5 oz!

We were all awe struck.
We had an hour of skin to skin & I needed no stitches!

RESULT!

So Sam was born at 00.15 on 4th June – 3 days early but born on his Grandmas 50th birthday, instead of his due date (Which was out first wedding anniversary)!!

The Midwife said to us afterwards that she fully expected me to be 1-2cm and going home with co-codomol as i was so calm, and she was shocked when I was fully dilated. She wasn’t alone!

So there you have it!
After 9 months of stressing about how Sam would arrive, he had a Speedy natural delivery!!