Relationships were once so easy. Boy meets girl. Girl tells friends she doesn’t like boy’s pencil case. Boy decides he’d rather share his lunchtime pudding with someone else. And the legend of that time that little Timmy and little Sarah were the school’s celebrity couple was born. Why we then have to grow up and complicate things, adding bizarre and nuanced procedures to an established and frankly perfect system, is a topic for another debate. But for now, we’re going to discuss how to find your one true love (and try Mediumchat for answers to your burning questions).
Tips to find your one true love – Consider what’s important
If you’re looking for a custom fit relationship in an off the shelf world, you’re going to have problems. Absolutely no one is all things to all people, including you – it’s difficult to imagine, but you are just as much of a pain in the backside to potential suitors as they are to you. Think about it. Do you like nights out that involve a meal and a few drinks? Or are you more of a clubber?
Do you love to take two weeks per year away from work to lay on a beach, or are you more of a city break person? Perhaps you love the idea of living in the countryside, and need somebody who shares the same desire to live amongst fields and horses and trickling streams. Once you figure out what you really want, you’ll be able to shortlist the places where your perfect mate might be hiding. In a wine shop, for example. Or at the pet store, or an office romance.
Step two is don’t drive yourself crazy
Here’s the thing. If you take step one seriously, you won’t drive yourself crazy with pinning your hopes on a singular outing per month – that’s only 12 nights per year that you’d be giving yourself the chance to meet someone. Instead, get into it. What do you love? Where do people who love that thing go? Book stores? Concerts? Perhaps you have a niche passion like home improvements or comic books or watching endless documentaries about ancient Egypt.
Whatever it is, by spending your time focusing on meeting people who share those interests, you’ll be in a positive state of mind and ready for the conversation to flow (there’s nothing worse than trying to get a conversation off the ground when the other person is trying to tell you about their award-winning Tulips when you couldn’t tell the difference between a Tulip and a potted sock puppet). Prioritise the fun aspect, and everything else will – hopefully – follow.
Finally, keep an ‘opener’ in your back pocket
Pickup lines don’t work. Except when they do. The difference is reading the room and knowing what to say and when. Easier said than done – or is it? You can be prepared by having a conversational opener in your back pocket. Nothing too flirty, but something the other person can grab a hold of and respond to. Like what? Well, how about “hey, can I ask your opinion on…” or “I have to get back to my friend in a moment, we’re having a deep and meaningful conversation, their partner found pictures of their ex in a shoebox under the bed, what should my friend do?”. People love to be asked their opinion.