Spewmageddon – Starring Batman and Ikea

Yesterday, DaddyGeek and I took the kids to Ikea. The plan was to do a bit of shopping, then have some lunch).
Both of the kids slept while we did the shopping, then we joined the HUGE queue for the restaurant.

Sam woke up, and within minutes, he began screaming. (Think full-on tantrum). This is so not like Sam. He is usually more than happy in the pram watching the world go by. As he screamed and got redder, I too got redder.

I was whispering reassurances in his ear that he could get out of the pram soon, when a spew-nami began. A HUGE wave of honey coated puke came racing towards me at an incredible rate. I (somehow) managed to dodge it, and screech (at the top of my voice) “LEEEEEEEE” (That’s DaddyGeek)! As I was screaming, another wave of vomit was bouncing and splashing off Sam and onto me, the pram, and anything else in it’s path.

Then Sam started to gag. I was terrified he was going to choke so I unclipped him, and sat him on the floor while I patted his back. All this time, the tantrum-like screaming was still going on, but he’d gone from beetroot red, to milk-bottle white. He was literally covered from chin to toe. The pram was also covered in it. I had a fair bit on me too.

Of course, we weren’t at the start of the queue, we were a good half way round the rails, so stuck between customers. I had to carry him underneath the barriers, dragging the smell of sick past at least 30 people queuing up to buy food. DaddyGeek was left in the queue, with Syd sleeping in the pram and the changing bag. How was he to get out of the queue? Well… a lovely man offered to help him lift the buggy over the barriers. So kind of him – EXCEPT the baby is in the carrycot, not strapped in! Thank god Hubby remembered she was there before the lifting began! Hubby had to make about 50 poeple leave the queue while he wheeled the honey flavour puke covered pram past them all.

It took him about 2 minutes to catch up with me. Sam was still crying and hubby had the bag, so I didn’t even have any wipes to get the sick off Sam’s dummy. I used about 60 wipes trying to clear off the worst of it, before realising he’d have to be stripped off to go into the car anyways. I decided to take off his coat and top – these were 100% covered at the front and sides, then to carry him back to the car. Just as we were leaving, a lovely Ikea employee came rushing over to see if we needed anything. She was offering to get Sam a drink or a cloth. I was impressed she had time to be so caring, and really appreciated it – yet at the same time, I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Luckily I am a bit OCD about keeping spare clothes in the car, so I managed to strip Sam off in the car boot, and get him into clean clothes. The smell lingered though as I was caked in it. When we got home, Sam seemed a bit better, but was pretty quiet and withdrawn all day. I spent the afternoon scrubbing the pram to within an inch of its life. Not the Saturday afternoon I had planned.

So there you have it – Spewmageddon part I. I am sure there will be other incidents like this in the future, but by Jove, surely none will be this traumatic…?

I lay in bed last night wondering how many people he had actually put off their lunch yesterday. I for one didn’t have any…!!

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