I love Batman to the moon and back, I honestly never realised just how much I love him – Until he ripped out my heart and stamped on it this morning. (OK slight exaggeration there, but that’s how it feels). See – I warned you in the title I was in hormonal hell!
Sam used to be a complete Mummy’s boy, but recently he is definitely on team Daddy. I wouldn’t mind this so much if he wasn’t so cold towards me now. I know I know, he’s a baby, he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t understand…. Try telling my hormones that! My brain computes, but that doesn’t stop me crying every time he turns his back on me, or every time he cries when Daddy leaves the room.
I get it, I really do. DaddyGeek is doing much more with Sam now I can barely move. So DaddyGeek gets all the smiles, the giggles, the arms up wanting a cuddle. And Mummy gets…. the dirty nappies, the tantrums and the cold shoulder. Seriously. I am not usually an emotional person, but I have just spent the best part of an hour crying my eyes out because my 11 month old son totally blanked me this morning. He threw a complete tantrum when DaddyGeek went for a shower, and he’s refused to look at me since.
Sam is now sat in his playroom watching Raa Raa while I sit in the kitchen, trying to sort my head out and get a grip on these crappy hormones. (I can see him from where I am sat – no need to ring ChildLine)! So yes – I feel like the world’s worst Mother. It is yet another beautiful day outside, and once again we are stuck indoors because I can barely walk thanks to the SPD. I have to say, I am starting to feel more and more like a burden on Sam’s life, and less like a parent. (I know, I know – complete rubbish… just the hormones talking…)
These hormones have a lot to answer for.
Is it July yet?!
At least once Robyn is born, I can stress about lack of sleep, or how hard I am finding breast feeding. Suddenly both seem pretty easy to deal with, compared with a baby who rejects you!*
*I am sure that I will have forgotten all about this by the time Robyn is born, so feel free to remind me that your baby rejecting you is more painful than breast feeding or exhaustion!
PS No sympathy required. Just had to vent…. somewhere. I am sure I’ll feel fine once I have had some caffeine and once Batman gives me a cuddle…!!