Read on to find out why I am sat here in almost complete silence… As I sit down to write this post, it is 9.20am. I have just got back from one very wet nursery & school run. Hubby has just left to go to the allotment. (He’s crazy – it’s bucketing down out there). I am home alone. This almost never happens.
At least it didn’t until now. Today is Syd’s first full day in school. She now does 8.55-3.25pm Monday to Friday. Sam now does 8.45am-11am Monday to Friday. So I get almost 2 glorious hours of peace, 5 days a week!
Almost Complete Silence
I am sitting here on my sofa, with a cup of HOT tea next to me, listening to the rain hit the windows. There is no Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the TV, no iPad app breaking the silence and no children screaming.
I am content. It has taken a LONG time for me to feel it. Because of sleep deprivation. Sam’s autism. Syd’s allergies and my depression. But today, for the first time in a LONG time, I woke up with a smile on my face. It was 4am, and Sam was shouting for me, but I was smiling. The thought of these 2 hours to myself made it much easier to deal with Sam’s aggression. Not to mention Syd’s constant need to push the boundaries and even the soggy school run.
After 4 years of having next to no time to myself, never being able to just sit and enjoy a moment of peace during the day, I feel happy. Who knew that not needing to have eyes on the back of my head, and switching off my sonar-like ears, (which I use to listen for kids fighting or performing death defying stunts), would be so calming?
Who’d have thought that these 2 hours of “me time” could make such a huge difference to my mental health? I got up today, and for the first time in a long time, I put on make up and straightened my hair. Then it rained, and all my effort was in vain. Rather than feeling down at the fact I’d wasted an hour of my day, rather than being annoyed that I’d juggled kids and GHD’s – probably shaving a few years off my life in the process, I laughed about it. I can’t remember the last time I laughed at myself.
Today is a new day. These 2 hours a day are mine, and I am going to spend them wisely, and do the things I love. I am going to write, I am going to read, I may even squeeze in the odd coffee and cake as well. In a nutshell, I am going to look after myself.
I adore my children, and I love being their mum, but sometimes, it’s nice to just be Tina for a while – you know?
So for now…. Adios – I’m off to drink HOT tea and listen to the rain falling – in Almost Complete Silence!!
Finally, if this Almost Complete Silence post has been useful… Why not check out more of my parenting posts here.