“Batman’s Birth story”

Make yourself comfortable – you may be here a while! I’m about to share Batman’s birth story with you all.

I woke at 5am ish on 3rd June and had some tightenings – nothing new. I’d had Braxton hicks for months. So I got up to go to the toilet & got some period like cramping too. I went down & sat on my gym ball. Then I posted online that things might be happening. By 7am the tightenings were every 8-10 minutes, lasting 30 seconds.

Batman’s birth story starts getting real

I woke hubby up to tell him things might be starting, and that I was having a bath. Poor hubby went into a state of panic! He decided he needed to go
shopping immediately to buy his dads fathers day present (LOL)! I got in the bath and that, along with 2 paracetomol seemed to ease everything. So I assumed it was another false alarm.

I rang the hospital, and they said it sounded like early labour but it could be days yet. So they said it was best to wait until the contractions were 3-4
minutes apart, lasting 60+ seconds. By 3pm the pains had stopped, so I decided to do the ironing (as you do)! However, by 7pm, the pains were back every 6 minutes, with each contraction lasting 40 seconds.

I rang my cousin, who told me to stay at home as long as possible. She said they would only send me home again if I was under 4cm dilated.
Hubby and I had said weeks before that we both expected me to be in agony during labour, due to my bad back & hips. So the fact I was coping without pain relief made us think it was very early days.

TENS machine time

I put on my tens machine as I’d heard the sooner it was on, the better. Not in my case – it did nothing to ease the discomfort I was in. So after an
hour I took it off. (It felt just like period pains, so I was coping well anyway, just controlled breathing through the contractions).

By 10pm, the contractions were every 3.5 mins, lasting 60 seconds so I rang the hospital. I was told there were no midwives so to ring back in an hour(!) Or wait longer if I could. Shortly after this call, I went to the toilet and had a bloody show. (This is your mucus plug coming away, and just looks like a heavy old period).

With every contraction after this, I felt like I wanted to poo, but I couldn’t. By 11pm, the pain and urge to poo was getting stronger with each contraction, so I rang the hospital to tell them I was going in.

Hospital Time

We got in the (brand spanking new) car at 11.15 & arrived on the maternity ward at 11.35pm. Hubby then started pumping up my gym ball. At 11.45pm, the midwife tried to listen to the baby’s heart beat but couldn’t find it. So she put me on the trace & found it. The Midwife then took my Blood Pressure (it was off the scale). I thought this was hardly surprising, given the lack of a baby’s heartbeat moment before. She thought the BP machine was broken,  so went to get a manual one.

As soon as she left the room, I felt an almighty pop, followed by a huge gush as my waters broke! I was still dressed and gutted I was soaked through! I told hubby what had happened, and he too looked horrified. He asked if he should get the midwife. I screamed “no, leave her!” To which he asked what he should do, and I said, “Get the Midwife”!

Midwife Calling!

As they came back in, I got another contraction, and the urge to poo was bigger than ever. The Midwife was being all slow & dilly dallying about, so I said I was sorry but I had to go to the toilet. She asked what for & I told her to poo! She then insisted she examine me first & whipped off my soaking wet pants and knickers!

Her face went from all chilled out to looking horrified as she said, “your cervix has gone”. My reply: “What the hell does that mean”? And she said “It’s time to push, not poo”!

I was given the gas and air, and told I had to do it with just that as it was too late for anything stronger.

I was up on all fours for 3 contractions (with the gas and air). But when I saw my cat walk across the room, I decided perhaps that was a bad idea, so I gave up on the drugs.

After 3 contractions, the midwife realised she didn’t have a Birthing kit. So she made hubby press the emergency button, to which the domestic
assistant responded (bloody NHS)!

Once she brought the kit, the midwife said it was up to me how long it would take. She said baby could be out in 3 pushes or 203, depending how much
effort I put in. She got me to lie on my side at this point, so she could see better.

One contraction later, I felt an almighty pain in my bum hole. (The midwife had shoved her fingers up there to stop me tearing – a bit of warning might
have been nice)! I swear that hurt more than labour did!

Feel The Sting

I began crying saying it hurt too much and I couldn’t do it. So she snapped, “I can see baby’s head, you’re doing it, isn’t she dad”! Hubby looked down and nodded, saying, “He has hair, lots of hair”! My response: “What Colour”?
(I had it in my head Sam was going to be a redhead, despite me and his Daddy being brunettes)!

One push later and the head was out. I didn’t feel this as I was too busy crying in pain over the fingers still shoved up my bum! Hubby  looked absolutely terrified at this point! One more push and there was a gush. This was followed by a huge sloppy bundle being dropped onto my chest!

It took me a minute to realise said sloppy bundle was actually Batman!!

Batman's Birth Story - Sam when he was minutes old
Sam Minutes Old

Hubby then cried!

It is worth noting I had promised that Hubby would tweet labour progress on twitter, and he posted these tweets…

“We are fully dilated”….


“So far, this has been moving at an incredible pace”……

“I’m a Dad!!”

My poor followers had been expecting a long graphic account. Instead they got 4 updates in less than an hour!

Once the placenta was delivered (which I was NOT expecting to be so big)… The Midwife weighed Batman and told us he was 8lb 15.5 oz!

We were all awe struck. We had an hour of skin to skin & I needed no stitches!


So Sam was born at 00.15 on 4th June – 3 days early! He was born on his Grandmas 50th birthday, instead of his due date (Which was out first
wedding anniversary)!

The Midwife said to us afterwards that she fully expected me to be 1-2cm dilated, and going home with co-codomol. She said I was so calm, and she was shocked that I was fully dilated. She wasn’t alone!

So there you have it!
After 9 months of stressing about how Sam would arrive, he had a Speedy natural delivery!! Finally, if you enjoyed Batman’s birth story, check out Robyn’s here!

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