Dear Cupid

I thought I’d help you out a bit, with some gift ideas.

You’ve made some faux pas in the past, some even brought on tears.

I do not want a tea set, an iron or bedding box.

I definitely don’t want Jam, and please dear – no more socks! 

I’m not ungrateful, Cupid, but I’d prefer you got it right.

Feel free to buy me chocolate – the best way to skip a fight.

Don’t bother buying massage oils, the kids will be awake! 

If you feel creative, you could bake me a cake?

I’d even settle for a Rose, or rose champagne.

Pick them up in Tesco, and use the express lane! 

I don’t expect a slap up meal, although that could be nice. 

I’m happy with a take away – a much more reasonable price.

Do not buy me stuff; that we need for round the house,

Or it’ll be the last V-day with me as your spouse.

I’d love it if you sorted out a Spa day for us two.

I’ve no idea who’d watch the kids – I’ll leave that part to you! 

A trip out to the pictures to see 50 shades of Grey?

Have you lost your marbles, is all I’m going to say! 

I’m not a fan of flowers, you know – I’d rather get new shoes.

If all else fails, just give me cash and I will go and choose.

Don’t forget the card, though, it’s all I really need.

Make sure you write something nice, that I can’t wait to read!

Most of all, the thing I want is for us to share some time.

Let’s cuddle up and watch a film – now that sounds sublime! 

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